thecrazyyears

thecrazyyears @ 2007-07-20T16:14:00

2007-07-20T20:19:11Z

today i realized that i'm really never satisfied or content with anything and my mind is like a sea-saw, it's sooo hard to keep me leveled. i'm always changing my mind, going back and fourth with myself and these are things i need to change.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-07-15T15:21:00

2007-07-16T19:37:34Z

I'm so pissed off right now.
I've been sick for like 5 days and it's reallly horrible.
I'm super congested, i have the worst cough, can't breathe through my nose and my body is so weak and tired and in pain. i've been taking cough medicine and some sinus infection pills but I'm barley getting better.
whenever i move i sweat, whenever i leave my house I'm miserable and everyone/everything gets on my nerves.
i haven't been able to go running since Wednesday because I've been soo tired.
i start school on Monday and I'm spending my last free week of summer being sick. ugh
and today i just found out that my mom has to go back to work September 4th which just means, i have no ride to school starting then and i won't be able to drive until i turn 17 on September 15th but it's not like i even have a car or money for one.
i just wish they would get me one for my birthday but I'm not that fortunate of course. i turned around and asked her how i was gonna get to school after that and all she had to say was "what did you think i was never gonna go back to work"..NO mom, that's not what i thought but you did promise me a ride to and from school everyday until i get my own car and if i don't follow through with this beauty school thing i swear i might just jump off a bridge because I'm already a failure as it is. all she kept saying was "we have no money, we'll worry about it in September" and she kept repeating "oh what did you think i was never gonna go back to work" no matter how many times i said "i'm not trying to say you shouldn't go back to work but how do you expect me to get to school. all you care about is yourself, this is my life on the line and we're not gonna worry about it at the last minute".
then she just slapped me real hard in the face with the whole "well you shouldn't have dropped out of high school" ordeal and all i said was "okay well there's nothing i can do about that now" as i proceeded to cry. there's no reason to throw that in my face, what the fuck. when i was going through all that shit that caused me to drop out, she didn't fulfill her position as the leader/mother in my life and take control nor did she try and help me as much as she should have. she just let me do what ever i wanted and when a little girl who is going out doing whatever she wants with no guidance or discipline, you're damn right she's gonna fall off her track and make stupid mistakes. and I'm finally seeing where i went wrong and i'm trying so hard to get my shit together so my future doesn't suck and of course there are more obstacles that just make me believe I'm meant to be just like my father.

ohh life.
why doesn't anything ever just work out in my favor?

thecrazyyears @ 2007-07-03T02:48:00

2007-07-03T07:01:03Z

today was wonderfulll. brittany and franklin woke me up to smoke a blunt and get food, we ran some errands, met up with thomas, holly, and johnny then i got dropped off at home to change and wash my face and all that good stuff. i was suposed to go to vikki's party but that didn't happen so i met back up with them, went to bower and me and britt chased after the ice cream lady*, then franklin had to give his mom back the car so they came over and we just chilled. we went back to brittany's and smoked a blunt and then i came up with the wonderful idea of playing sharades. it was mad funny but didn't last long. when franklin got the car back we drove around for a bit with nothing to do then we went to bower and saw alyssa, brendan, matt and hira so we chilled then left to get a dutch and then when we came back MadDd heads starting showing up. it was like a play ground party. the only bad part of this night is that i lost my pot leaf earings because some boys decided to wrestle me down and swing me around and then they attemped to throw me in the garbage while we were playing handball. ahaha mad funny night, i loved it <3

thecrazyyears @ 2007-07-01T01:14:00

2007-07-01T05:26:54Z

Last night I met up with Christina and Anna..then Mary and then a billion other people and we went to 2 parties. They were a bit weird but smokin blunts with my niggas who I misssed so god damn much was soooo wonderful. Me & Christina smoked a blunt with Tom C then went to bed for 4 hours. Today I had such a bad headache and it somehow made my jaw hurt so bad. Never felt anything like it..so I took 1 and a half Tylenol pain killer thingys at work and from there on out, time went sooooo slow. It felt like the day was never gonna endddd. Ugh, I hated it. Then after work, I was told there was a costume party ..then everyone said it was canceled but then they said they found another one, then it was canceled and on and off & yadda yadda. I was soooo annoyed by the end of the night because I walked 2 fucking miles to this party just to turn around and go back home..I ruined my sneakers and I really never wanna wear them again, I wasted money eating for no damn reason and I only have like 10 bucks left to my name nowww. I was home by 11:30 on a Saturday night in the summer. WTF is this shittt??? I don't know why I haven't been happy lately but it's pretty fuckin gay! ughh

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-28T02:47:00

2007-06-28T07:02:33Z

Today was interesting!!!
I went to work and I was 10 minutes late but I really didn't careeee because I really didn't wanna be there anyways. Some days you just know you're not gonna have a good day at work. I was right because all I listened to all day was everyone talk about each other and be bitches. It pissed me off sooo bad like, I don't usually walk around giving people dirty looks but today I felt like everyone needed it. Then it started pouring and that always brings down the mood soo yea, I just could nott wait to get out of that place. This job makes me wanna give everyone more appreciation because seriously, in that salon, nobody has the time for it and when you're working your ass off and people just keep piling more shit on your back(which tends to hurt really bad when you have to be on your feet for 9 hours/5days straight) you just end the day feeling like you worked so hard but didn't make anyone's life a little bit easier. My paycheck was short $50 bucks and one of the other assistants lost 2 FUCKING STUPID DOLLARS and was accusing people of stealing it. I just couldn't take it today!

But yeah, that was my last week day working anyways and I couldn't be happier..besides the fact that I'm gonna be making $100 a week instead of $250 plus tips every night. BUT ANYWAYS, enough about workk.

Things have been going good =)..
My summer has officially started!
I got a sidekick! annnnd:

Tonight I hung out with Adrienne and I was reminded of why I love her so much. Funniest person EVERR you don't even know. We went to Chris' house with Sandra and Taylor and this girl Erika were there. I laughed soooo much tonight woo.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-22T08:41:00

2007-06-23T12:44:20Z

last night was awesome.
me and mis amigos smoked a fat ass gotti on the way to the partay
haha so we were bLiTtEd
i played a bunch of beer pong which was funnNnn
had reunions with people i havent seen in forever=)
made a whole bunch of buddies & i got smoked up on mad peoples blunts
then we proceeded to smoke a bunch more on the way home..
i was twisted hahahaaa.

oh and i lost my camera. oh welll, it was a piece of shit anywaysss.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-21T22:25:00

2007-06-22T05:25:55Z

(sometimes as in every other month) i go through weeks where bad shit happens left and right and i just stay miserable.
it's been this way lately so i came home early tonight and wrote in my journal(my actual, paper journal) a bunch and i think i finally understand what i want.

i came to the conclusion that i don't have a best friend and i am quite lonely..but it's okay.
the only best friends i've ever had have either put other people before me or just fucked up my life in some way. i'm better off being alone..gives me more space and more opportunity to think straight and be who i wanna be.

ahh i feel like so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i can almost breathe freely again. ~~~~~~~~ =)

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-19T23:41:00

2007-06-20T03:49:42Z

I hate being stressed out. It just makes me so miserable. But anyways, Today I went and did my financial aid shit for beauty school. I start July 24th and end March 21st. 9AM-4PM Monday through Friday..then work all weekend. I wish I didn't have to go to school full time and then work my weekends away. This shit better really pay off in the future. I'm gonna attempt to save as much money as I can within the next month but I've been HORRIBLE at saving. Since I've gotten this job I've been saying I was gonna save as much money as possible and I spent every damn penny. I hope I get a car for my 17th birthday. Ughhhh, tomorrow starts my wonderful five 9 hour days! =( I'll be making a fun entry soon, I swear.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-14T09:35:00

2007-06-15T01:38:11Z

I will be working full time allll summer long...if I'm lucky I get a few Sunday's off. I'm actually just gonna be working my ass off until I get a car, then I'll change up my hours a bit but by then it will be winter and nobody will be partying every night and I'll be wishing I was still working as much as I am now. Well yeah, anyways, I dyed my hair black and purple, no good pictures yet, I'm getting a tattoo on Monday(HOPEFULLLY<33), and peircings are coming soon =). See ya!

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-08T22:38:00

2007-06-09T05:43:34Z

Meet the love of my life. He is the most precious thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I care about his life so much. I hate the fact that I never get to be around him though. Everytime I'm home he's sleeping so I just sit there and watch him sleep. I wake up in the morning and give him and kiss and I just love when he's around. Right now he's upstate at his Grandma's house(we have a different dad). I'm gonna have to repeat myself and say he's seriously thee most precious thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I miss em.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-06T10:45:00

2007-06-06T14:46:39Z

I hate people who make me feel like I'm better off being quiet.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-06-06T00:14:00

2007-06-06T04:26:40Z

So, on Friday, I worked till 9 then went over to Brittany's. I got me a bottle and when I got to Brittany's, there just so happened to be two more. I got 100% retarded. I couldn't keep a straight face the whole night and seriously, everyone was making fun of me. I had so much fun though =). Sometimes it's nice to let loose and be a real fucking idiot haha. I do it all the time though, I think.

(an example of how drunk I was except it was so much worse haha)

I went home around 1:30 and went to sleep. Woke up at 7 because I had work at 8:45. I actually woke up with the worst hangover. I felt like I had to puke but I couldn't..ughh. I tried eating a bagel, didn't help. I was about to lose hope and I had like 5 minutes to lay down so I used it up and BAM! Hangover dissapeared. I was afraid I was gonna go to work like that and that would have been HOOOOOORRIBLE!! Anyways, I was at work for about 2 hours and one of my managers comes up to me all casual and says "Um, Vickee, your mom is having the baby now so you can just leave." Let me tell you how my heart fell to the fucking floor. I was freaking out soo bad. I went to the hospital and there was nothing happening really, she was in labor but no baby yet. I was about to leave and go to the beach right..as I was going to say bye the nurse stops me and says "Can you just hold on a second, she just had the baby.." Once again, my heart fell to the floor and I ran and told my grandma. I was the first sibling to see him =). He makes me quite happy.

Ever since then, I've been cleaning like crazy. Today I woke up at 9:30(who wakes up at 9:30 on their day off?) and cleaneed then took a shower and went shopping. Shopping was a great idea. I got a bunch of cuuuute stuff =).

My brother comes home tomorrow and I'm excited!! I have pictures of him but I can't fucking get my pictures on the computer for some weird reason. Um yeah, the end.

thecrazyyears @ 2007-05-31T00:49:00

2007-05-31T04:50:37Z

These are the years where everyone is seriously growing up. It just makes me want to stop for a few minutes, think back, remember, embrace it all ,and cry my heart out. This thought of growing up isn't even just something I'm seeing everyone do. I really am growing up right now, I've just been having this weird grown up feeling inside of me and I'm not the only one who feels this way. This is the part where I really need to step up and do something. I miss being in high school, this would all be so much easier but it's okay, I'm gonna do it. It's really really depressing to come to the realization that I'm gonna be working for THE REST OF MY LIFE.